Tuesday, July 25, 2006

...That's a Paddlin'

Silently laying the rankest air biscuit in human history at 5:45 AM in a packed car...That’s a paddlin’

Talkin’ big game with the outfitter and then sliding down a muddy bank with a cooler between your legs…That’s a paddlin’

Carrying your canoe through a quarter-mile portage fully loaded…That’s a paddlin’

Panicking while trying to paddle upstream behind a large rock in rapids…That’s a paddlin’

Passing out in the canoe in the middle of the river…That’s a paddlin’

Covering 18 miles of a 22-mile, two-day canoe trip in three hours…That’s a paddlin’

Making camp at 2:45 PM, 100 yards from a brewery…That’s a paddlin’

Sitting on the privy buck-naked in a rain storm…That’s a paddlin’

Urinating in the “Rebirth” section of the Path of Life…That’s a paddlin’

Spilling your raspberry hefeweizen while lounging in two feet of ice cold river water…That’s a paddlin’

Visiting the privy twice in less than 20 hours…That’s a paddlin’

Using flatulence as a source of both entertainment and competition…That’s a paddlin’

Getting hit on by the waitress at the brewery and opting for more time with the boys…That’s a paddlin’

Burning enough firewood for five Boy Scout troops in one night…That’s a paddlin’

Snoring so loud that you drown out the trains passing 10 yards away…That’s a paddlin’

Sitting in a canoe and peeing over the side, with both feet dangling in the water…That’s a paddlin’

Having an adolescent splash fight and yelling “F*ckers!!!” while a family with kids drifts by…That’s a paddlin’

Returning to said brewery, sunburned and dirty, for more raspberry hefeweizen, sandwiches and face time with the waitress…You better believe that’s a paddlin’!!


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