Friday, July 29, 2005

Git your deceased equines heya!

So, everyone and their mother has commented on this, and, since I'm a bandwagon type guy, I'm doing it to. Have you actually seen The Hill's 50 Most Beautiful People list? I mean I understand that we're not LA or NY, and that these people are serious workers, running the country and all with nothing less that the utmost attention to the responsiblities of their jobs (cough) but still, if you are going to the trouble of wrastin' up a list, claiming to be the most beautiful people, then don't you sort of have an obligation to, I don't know, find beautiful people? The whole idea is wrongheaded, obviously, but if you're gonne do cheesecake and beefcake, then get some cake, huh?

And the photographs...did they send an intern out with a disposable camera? that'll learn those that can't be bothered to have head shots (does anyone know someone with head shots? I can't even fathom why you'd need one, unless you're an actor or something. but a staffer? what the heck is that all about?) So, I think they basically found ten beautiful people and threw in forty decently good looking people to mke the list more rounded. Strange. Do they do a 50 Most Fascinating People list as well?

As usual, DCeiver has great stuff on the list.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Trouble at the DMV

Greetings from the great white north. I feel compelled to share a short tale with you-perhaps explaining my somewhat sparse postings since departing the old dominion. Our story begins early last Friday (VERY early). I woke up at the crack of dawn and headed to a Connecticut DMV almost an hour away. Why? Because only three DMV offices in the entire state can issue a "first license". So there I was waiting in line before the DMV even opens. I wait in line for about an hour. Finally at the front of the line I begin the process. Showing off my always impressive VA license (which I still have) and my birth certificate. Next I am asked for proof of residency. So I proudly flash my new insurance card complete with my street address (as a PO Box is not acceptable in the eyes of DMV bureaucrats). Upon inspection of my card said bureaucrat states "this doesn't prove anything-you could have just had an insurance agent make one of these." I hope you are seeing some humor in this! I informed her that in fact that is exactly how the whole thing went down. I also inquired why an insurance agent might insure me in the state of CT at a certain address unless I lived there. I silently wondered how many people secretly pay thousands in insurance fees for the privilege of paying taxes to various towns in Connecticut (more on the "mill rates" to follow). I know I am getting nowhere so only hope to get an idea of how I can prove residency in the future. Unfortunately since we are on a rural road we cannot get mailed delivered to our residence. So everything goes to the PO Box. When I explained this to the DMV lady she asked why I couldn't just mail myself a letter to the residential address and bring it in. Now at this point might I remind you of the insurance card incident. Apparently if I scribble a letter to myself that is completely legitimate-but an insurance agent! Can't trust those guys. I returned to work dejected but found hope upon getting home. My new dental insurance had accidentally sent my information to the residential address. (cue church music) AND the post office had failed to put their usual HUGE orange sticker on it stating that this in fact was a PO Box. SO the next day (Saturday) I went back to the DMV and got back in that line. When I arrived at the front I was informed that I did indeed have everything I needed. Unfortunately the computer system of the state of CT was down and they could issue no licenses. I waited for about an hour-clearly misplaces faith on some IT specialist employed by state government before giving up. I'll just wait for my car tax refund from Governor Warner and then go back to straighten out this mess.

So you can see why the posts have been slow in coming. Perhaps I'll get it all straight but I'll never reach the lightening quick posting speed of Phillipe. Enjoy your Sierras while I kick back with one of these great Northeast Microbrews.


Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Late Breaking News! G-Dawg has been located!

for those of you keeping a silent vigil in the night, extinguish your candles and raise your voice in song, for he has been returned to us, apparently in one piece! Although he still has some 'splaining to do about his whereabouts. The most important thing is that he is safe and sound. We are most content.

s seen at the Notting Hill Gate Tube Stop.

Really people, try and keep up. Thanks to BN for the image...Posted by Picasa


It's still questionable as to who enjoyed this more.... Pony, or Lord Clayton


Last seen working an indy-chick on the Hill, late last evening, while wearing a completely non-ironic I (HEART) NY shirt. Responds to G-diddy, G-Dawg, G-Mack, Iowa-boy, and any possible permutation of Ohio jokes. Known to be completely fearless around women, to seriously date up and for an inate inability to keep his eyes open during photographs.

If you've seen him, please return him to your local watering hole.

Thank you from WNSC.

Monday, July 25, 2005

A modest polling question

After two months of incredibly harrassing behaviour, and I'm talking Clarence Thomas-Anita Hill stuff, two new associates have been invited to join our fine staff. Messers "Pony" and "Hey, she looks 22*" will be posting soon. Pony's accepted his invite two days ago now, when oh when will he grace us with his witticisms? as for Mr. "I can't believe she's not 21*?" well, I'm sure he'll get around to it...

hmm...who will be first?

*names are projections of actual names based on past behaviour. They may, or may not, be relevant to current actions, nomenclature or future postings.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Just a quick note

to Official Friend of the Club Heather, who's off to ascend Killamajaro for some unfathonable reason. Happy climbing, and we'll see you at the Shore!

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Lord Clayton

I'm sure you've heard of Clay. Anyone who's spent time in Northern California or D.C. knows who this dog is. For those who have been wondering what he looks like, I've posted his picture, looking dapper and regal as ever.

This dog... well... he's his own dog. And he has more friends than I will ever have. He came to my college classes with me. Between classes people would walk by and ask "What's up Clay?" He'd respond in turn with a wag of his body and excitement for seeing his old friend. Thing is, I'd have no idea who they were. But obviously they knew eachother. And it continues today. He'll chill outside a bar while I'm hanging inside with friends. And it's getting to the point now where he's re-living his glory college days. I would not be surprised if he becomes an icon among drunkards nationwide. Sometimes I wonder if I should leave him at home, but you know, he loves it. He gets pizza crusts and slobbery kisses from girls going out on the town. He's been used by many-a-man to capture the attention of girls, and it works. Best off, we walk around town and the cops now just drive by. Think they even know who he is now. The bums love him, and though he'd rather be spending time in a field in the country, I think he's getting into being the social butterfly of D.C. He'll be 3 on Sunday, so wish him a toast on his birthday; he'll probably be hanging out outside your local bar. I'll keep you updated on his adventures...

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Rebel, ye chld! (but make sure you fly over to Scotland for the G8 summit first... Posted by Picasa

Our long national nightmare is at an end

the vagabond known as BORF has been apprehended. You may rest peacefully now.

TV Cameras? At the Wednesday Night?

mais oui! Whist whiling away the hours last night, waiting for Dr. Pepe to get out of work...what should your correspondent espy but a plastic blonde talking into a TV camera. Well, insatiable curiosity got the best of me, as it is wont to do. Turns out, it was Channel 13, the ABC affiliate from Toledo. Their reporter (the aforementioned blonde) has been sent up to the big city, and was doing a story on connections to Toledo for the people back home. So, of course, I volunteer my Toledo connection. And next thing you know, I'm being interviewed. hmm, don't think that tape will make the light of day. Much better chance of the intern at the next table from Sylvania getting airtime, she was much cuter. (sidebar: said intern was wearing a crossover shirt showing off a lot of the twins. She pulled it much more shut for the camera, saying "my mom wouldn't like this shirt" it was very cute.)

Thursday, July 07, 2005

The Reminder

On a Wednesday night a few years ago, I was showing off my new cell phone to Washboard after consuming a number of pitchers of beers. While most people had managed to procure a cell phone well before the turn of century, I was not one of them. And the fact that I had finally joined the 21st century was quite a novelty.

So, as we sat there teetering on our barstools, Washboard proceeded to explore a function of my phone known as "The Reminder." Basically, you can program the phone to ring at a certain time to remind you of a meeting or a birthday or a time to take your medicine. Fittingly, Washboard programmed my phone to ring every Wednesday night at 7:30 to remind me that I should be at the Wednesday Night Sierra Club. Of course, he selected the most annoying ring tone for the reminder, something like an electronic version of "Chicken in the Straw."

Since then, every Wednesday night, this awful alarm goes off, embarassing me on the Metro or in front of friends. If my phone isn't on, I am forced to wade through this reminder on Thursday morning. Fortunately for Washboard, I am too lazy and technologically challenged to go to the trouble of turning off the reminder. So, for years, this reminder has plagued me. And I never really understood why he had put it in there. I mean, come on, of course I am going to remember the Wednesday night.

Then this morning, I got up and started getting ready for work. I took my cell phone out of my bag and turned it on (I was working late last night and missed the Wednesday night). And "The Reminder" popped up yet again. Except this time, it wasn't annoying. In fact, it served its exact purpose. With Washboard gone and the future of the Wednesday Night Sierra Club dangling in the balance, it reminded me of all the good times we had had, barking at snotty waiters, calling for "dirty swine" and laughing about head-sized beds. I remembered how important the Wednesday Night is, especially when work is getting you down and the worlds seems to be going crazy.

Looks like Washboard knew exactly what he was doing when he programmed that phone...