Tuesday, June 07, 2005

It’s the Final Countdown

No it’s not time for name that bad 80s band--again. I am now into my final 4 days at work. I’ll tell you boys and girls it feels great. But it sure can lead to some awkward moments. Today’s adventure: the last all staff meeting. Now I give serious consideration to skipping it, as there isn’t quite the same relevance to a “short timer”. But I know they are going to be talking about me so I must go now to defend the good name of Washboard…

I have just now finally detached myself. I tried to get the coveted seat in the back corner by the door, but got “pushed in” by the late arrivals. I was not on the official list of departures but I was not spared, in fact I was at the top of C.E. No's Rob Badloss’s list. I was caught in the nets of eulogies and squirming would only make things worse. Then I was summoned to speak. Should I tell everyone how happy I am to be leaving or “confess” leaving is a mistake to save face. Ah now you see it’s a no win situation. But I fumble out a sentence or two followed by a couple witty quips before QUICKLY sitting down. You must sit down quickly after prompting a bit of clapping to avoid prolonging the pain.

Having met the hype of the Washboard name I now turn my attentions to my early departure. Unfortunately a colleague who refused to move blocked my path. I was forced to attend most of a painful staff meeting out of pure spite. But I wasn’t sunk yet. I am still pretty close to the back--still the dominion of the class clown. So I went about my strategic retaliation; to draw cartoons of her until humor bent her resolve and she was willing to let me leave if she could keep my “agenda” with the cartoons. And that my friends is how I sold my first piece of art.

-Washboard

As always bonus for catching the reference in the Title.

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